Sunday, July 19, 2015

Teraapia muutmisest

Teraapia muutmine ei ole sugugi nii lihtne kui tundub. On asju, mida ma kunagi muuta ei saa. On asju, mille muutmine v6tab kaua.
Tana arkasin jarjekordses deliiriumis. Ainult selleparast et jatsin 6htul v6tmata poolest tabletist poole- imevaike kogus, aga organism tunneb sellest niiv6rd puudust, et ma kukun taiesti teise maailma.
Mul oli v6imalus p6gusalt Wonderlandist valjas kaia. Maletan seda teekonda. Olin hirmust kange, vihkan neid lennujaamu ja reisimist. See ajab mul sydame pahaks. Eriti kui mul tuleb lahkuda Wonderlandist.
Tegelikkus polnudki nii kole. Ilmselt siiski oli, aga ma trippisin ilmselt kogu aeg ja siis tundus paris fun. Ei maleta tapselt aga see polegi oluline. Oluline on elada hetkes. Et see hetk oleks maksimaalselt meeldiv, muidugi kui see on minust s6ltuv ja minu teha. Enamasti on, sest k6ik algab siiski omaenese m6tlemisest.
Ma v6tsin oma doosi ja mul hakkab paremaks minema.
Ma olen tagasi Wonderlandis.
Palju on muutunud, palju saladusi on avalikuks tulnud. Mul on selle yle ainult hea meel.
Kohati tekkib minus kahtltus, kas Wonderland on piisavalt hull koht, minu nihilsm on t6usvas joones. Kas sellist kohta yldse leidub siin maailmas???

Thursday, July 2, 2015

The End or Beginning.....

The end or beginning...
So many days has passed .  So many things has been done... also so many has left undone. I have incredible ideas for too many things.
I WANT TO REALIZE THEM. I need to realize them. For that i need my stimulants what ever it cost , life must go on....
"Bad days in life were so few..." said one man who died after couple of months after these words.
He was  a real genius with a short life....

Still in conditions 

Day after but still allive








Wednesday, July 1, 2015

Other World

Today
I'm entering
To other
World

I'm scared
So painful already
Even still
I'm here
Cool and steady

Today
Is now
How painful

I never realised
How is to leave
My Wonderland
The treasury of mine

I'm scared
I'm paralysed

Today
I'm entering
To other
World

Centuries ago
I called it home
But now
I'm scared
And  feeling weird